


Some decisions are harder than others.

by allycat83



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:48:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23890342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allycat83/pseuds/allycat83
Summary: After last night's scene clip I saw this fic was going around my head so thought I would start it as we have a while to wait for more Vanity.Comments help me write faster.Enjoy.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After last night's scene clip I saw this fic was going around my head so thought I would start it as we have a while to wait for more Vanity.
> 
> Comments help me write faster.
> 
> Enjoy.

As Charity's hair blew in the wind the thudding of her footsteps drifted off in to the distance. Vanessa stood there lip quivering what had she just done? Had Charity's remarks meant the end of their relationship? If so she knew she was to blame. Torn between wanting to call out to Charity or gather her thoughts she realised that if she did call her, she wouldn't turn around to acknowledge her let alone come back so they could talk. Vanessa knew in that moment that Charity had rebuilt the wall that she had spent 3 years chipping away at until it crumbled, she was the reason that Charity's heart was hurting, she had caused this by assuming a stupid assumption that Charity didn't want Johnny when in reality nothing could be farther from the truth.

Vanessa turned and walked back up to the house, their home if she had a right to call it that anymore. She slammed the door and slumped on to the sofa, "Oh God" she said aloud to an empty house "What have I done?".

Charity took another gulp of the liquid in a glass, it burned her throat as it went down, this was nothing in comparison to the knowledge that her fiancee had chosen someone else to care for her son if she died. Wait her son Johnny was her son and she wouldn't have anyone else believe otherwise. They had a built a family together and now in moments Vanessa had taken a bulldozer to their love, their life and Charity wasn't sure if it could ever be repaired. Feeling that the walls were closing in around her she pushed her way out of the kitchen and back door of the pub in to the cool air nearly knocking Tracy over in the process.

"Charity what the hell" Tracy said somehow keeping her balance. Seeing Charity's distraught face, tear stained and sad she panicked. "Oh my God is it V, is she okay Charity?". Charity nodded "Yes she is okay, infact she is so okay she is giving guardianship of Johnny to Rhona that's how little she cares about me".

To say that Tracy was shocked is an understatement she was dumbfounded. "What?" She yelled "Rhona, not you or even me but her why?". Charity shrugged her shoulders, "I guess she knew he would be okay, that he would have a guardian who loved him and wanted him, I took a one second pause in shock she assumed I didn't want him so asked her friend, her crush or whatever she was, she couldn't have hurt me more than she has and Trace I don't think we can recover from this, I...I think it's the end". Realising what she had said Charity felt herself slide to the ground, suddenly she felt gentle arms around her "No it isn't Charity we will make her see sense I promise" Tracy said as Charity cried into her shoulder. Tracy knew that was a huge thing for Charity to do, open herself up and be vulnerable and she hated that not only had her sister created this mess, but she hadn't even considered her own sister as a guardian for her son. Gently rubbing Charity's back she resolved to sort this out and find some normalcy in this chaos for all of them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the first chapter.
> 
> Here is the next part.

After a few moments being held Charity shrugged and moved away "Anyway yeah thanks for that Trace" she said standing up and brushing herself down, I'll owe you a drink yeah" she turned and hurriedly walked back to the pub. 

Tracy stood up, she knew some severe damage had been done and prayed its wasnt irreparable. She decided against confronting her sister immediately and wanted to think of the right thing to say without sounding angry or hurt so she walked home to contemplate what to do do next.

Vanessa sipped the last of her soup, Charity had made it for her earlier in the day and left a note attached 'New recipe hope you like it, if not I'll make something else for you later, Love C xxx".  
The soup was really good and she felt contented that she has someone who loved her, all of her and still loved her despite the many scars she now had physical and emotional.

She remembered a time when Charity was all about the sex, not love just physical love and how long it took to see the real Charity, tears formed her eyes as she realised maybe that's all that would be left now a superficial Charity with a facade to match never letting her in again, and why should she when she had shown her no love or trust that she could care for their son. She knew that Charity was a brilliant mum, she would always try her best and always put the kids needs above her own, Vanessa remembered the first time that Johnny called Charity mum, they had all been playing outside a lovely summer day last year and he didn't want to go in to bed, Vanessa has tried everything until Charity ran to him and scooped him up "It's super Johnny to the rescue" she laughed as he followed suit with a chuckle that warmed Vanessa's heart, Charity zoomed him around the garden a couple of times then in doors and too the sofa where he 'crashed' next to Moses. " Yay Mummy Chatty" he said clapping his little hands. Charity looked at Vanessa, "Did he just say..?" she began, " Yes Mummy Chatty" Vanessa laughed giving her fiancee a kiss, "He did and you are". 

Vanessa was disturbed from her thoughts by her phone vibrating, it was Tracy asking if she was okay and could she come and chat to her followed by Charity told me. Vanessa replied okay and braced herself for the inevitable harsh talk that was to come.

"Hey Debs" Charity said clearing her throat "Yeah I'm okay...no I...I'm not really..no Vanessa is okay it's just she has this bucket list and is giving guardianship of Johnny to Rhona is all...I didn't cause this.... okay I just ...Debs stop talking please... I need a break you know me and the kids just while things are crazy here...she doesn't need me she has Rhona...Debs please" Charity said her voice breaking "Please... yeah okay we will get some stuff together and be there in a day or so..thanks babe, I love you too".  
Charity ended the call knowing not only that she needed to get the kids on side to go to Scotland for a bit, but that she may not be coming back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter enjoy xx

The only sound of the wind could be heard as Tracy sipped on her tea eyeing her sister, "Alright Tracy I have had it with the dirty looks so just come out with it and tell me" Vanessa sighed. Tracy looked at her sister and saw the broken and exhausted sick person she had become so changed tack lowering her eyes and speaking softly. "I get into okay, not long ago I would have told you that Charity is the worst person in the world, I don't see why you like her let alone love her and I wouldn't trust her with looking after my house plant let alone Johnny, but she isn't the person I thought she is, what she is, is broken and teary and I don't know how you can fix this". Vanessa felt her tears fall, "I know Trace, don't you think that I don't know what I have done, I thought I was doing what was best for Johnny, if I was then Charity would be the one, I don't know why I doubted her but Tracy I don't know how to fix this or even if I can".

Tracy stood up and approached her sister as she sobbed "V she is the best thing that ever happened to you and only you can fix this, you need to do whatever is in your heart to do for Johnny, by the way I am hurt you didn't ask me before Rhona but there we are" Tracy said standing up. "I'm sorry" Vanessa said again then sniffed "I seem to be saying that alot these days". Tracy looked at her sister "Fix it V before...before there is nothing left to fix". Vanessa's eyes snapped up as Tracy turned away "Did she say something?...Tracy?.." the worry evident in her voice. "Just talk to her yeah please", Tracy gave her sister a hug before leaving as the door closed Vanessa knew what ever it was she had to say it had to be today, she had an uneasy feeling this was her only chance.

"So sound good eh?..what do you think? Charity said packing some clothes in to her case, "Let me get this straight" Noah said in his gruff voice "We are going to stay with Debs quote unquote and looking to maybe possibly move there, seriously mum Vanessa has cancer, she needs us, what about Johnny?". Charity faced her son, he was growing up too fast, "Johnny is going to Rhona if Vanessa...if the cancer..if she's no longer here okay? She chose her not us..not me, I can't...Noah I can't stay here I'm breaking here and I need to go, we can sort out the formalities if and when but please I need you to understand". Noah was ready to come back with a sarcastic comment, but seeing his mum so fragile he nodded "Yeah okay". Charity resumed packing until the bedroom door closed then she crumbled on the bed.

"Penny for them" Bob said seeing Tracy running her finger around the rim of the glass, "it's nothing is Charity here?" No she's gone home, she's been glum all day maybe she's missed Vanessa he said nonchalantly. "Is she okay?" He asked serving another customer, "Yeah..well you know..she's gone shopping or something retail therapy eh" Tracy said, suddenly her ears picked up a conversation from across the bar "Charity you can't just up and leave I have Eve to look after..Charity okay I get it..when are you going?...Today!! Seriously..no I'm not angry just blind sided look when will you be back a few days or...Charity..Charity you listen to me you will be coming back we have a pub.. I don't want your share...Charity...". Chas sighed "Great need to get Mandy to cover again..I hope she sells as much ale as she drinks" seeing Tracy she approaches the bar "Guess you heard that?" Tracy nodded "I've got to phone V" as she pulled out her phone Chas put her hand over it "Should you or has she made her decision already?" Tracy looked at Chas then her phone and knew exactly what to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy 😁 xx

V get yourself home now..now" Tracy yelled down the phone to her sister. Waiting what felt like hours suddenly Rhona's car pulled up with Vanessa, "What is the big emergency?" She asked helping Vanessa out of the car "It's Charity" Tracy blurted grabbing her sister and moving her towards the house. Rhona knew this was a family thing so turned and headed back to her own place.

"Trace what is the big hurry?" Vanessa said wincing as Tracy pulled her a bit too roughly so much so she bent forward in obvious pain. "Sorry V..She's leaving like now..right now". Vanessa suddenly felt energy from somewhere and walked quicker towards the door to the house that flung open to reveal Charity laden down with a case and rucksack.

"Hi" Charity said ignoring the two women pushing past them to put the bags in the car, "Hi is that all you can say?" Vanessa said her voice breaking, "Give us another minute and I'll say bye" Charity said putting on her verbal armour, "Come on kids hurry up we want to see your sister before the day light ends..well mum in your case" she said as Sarah walked out playing on her phone.

"We need to talk" Vanessa said putting her arm across Charity's as she went to leave with more things, "I remember saying that to you..but you had made up your mind so guess what..I have too". Charity shrugged Vanessa off, "I'm sorry" Vanessa cried out, Tracy grabbed the kids, " Milkshakes before the journey eh" she said leading them to the cafe.

Charity still hadn't turned to face Vanessa, she knew she would break down if she did and she wanted to maintain her armour for now. "Okay yes you are sorry..what for exactly the way you have been with me or for not trusting me with Johnny..what are you apologising for exactly just so I know?". 

Vanessa let the tears fall "Everything, God I didn't know how much you were hurting and I just thought of Johnny so when you paused I assumed you didn't want another kid..I was wrong". Charity lowered her head "Yeah you were" she picked up another bag, "Charity please.. please don't go.. don't leave me" Vanessa said her voice cracking completely until she was sobbing. Charity turned to face her "You have already left me" she cried wiping her face roughly, "Look I'm sure you will find someone else who you 100% trust with your son and love and..". Vanessa interrupted her " I do.. it's you". Charity scoffed "Yeah forgive my mistake but you didn't go out drinking without me, you didn't give guardianship to me, may be it's Rhona you wanted all along eh, I clearly mean nothing to you". Charity went to walk past but Vanessa blocked her way, " You mean everything to me...I was wrong..so wrong but I love you..I want Johnny to go to you...I want us to be a family, I can't change what had happened I can only ask that you forgive me and give me a chance to make it up to you, all of you for this mess, please Charity one chance".

Charity looked at the woman who held her heart and had chipped away at it these past few days, then she opened her mouth and began to speak.


	5. Chapter 5

So that's it? .3 years Charity and you walk away" Vanessa shouted angrily drawing attention from people in the street Charity manoeuvred her through the door. "3 years and you leave me" Vanessa cried unable to contain her emotion. "Vanessa are you serious" Charity yelled back "You left me the day you closed yourself off to me and went off with Rhona, you left me the day you decided to leave the most precious thing in the world to your best friend, so just to be clear when did you stop trusting me? When did you stop loving me? When did you stop letting me in" Charity practically screamed the last part. Vanessa slumped to the sofa sobbing "It was too hard, you having to deal with this I thought it was better ." Charity snapped "Better for who? It sure as hell wasn't me, how do you think it felt to be mocked when you were drunk, to be told your son whom you love isn't your son, he's going to the local vet, how am I supposed to feel when you break my heart and then say "I'm sorry". Charity threw her hands up in the air "I can't do this..I can't it's too hard" she looked around letting her walls crumble again. "I want to go..I need to..." in seconds Vanessa is holding her, supporting her as best as she can as they sit on the floor near the door. Charity struggles free, but Vanessa maintains her weak hold until Charity succumbs to her emotions.

Vanessa let her own tears fall as she held Charity not knowing if it was her last opportunity to do so. "Charity please.. I wasn't thinking, I was desperate and I should have let you take the time you needed God knows if the shoe was on the other foot then I would need a minute too". Charity smiled weakly, "Yeah but I wouldn't have assumed you didn't want them, you would be the only person I want them to go to the only one..I was what second best..third I can't be a back up I need to be the only one.. you can't promise me that". Charity said pulling Vanessa closely then releasing her.

"What if I can...what if I say I want you to adopt him, not after my death but now right now". Charity looked at her fiancee for any sign of a lie "You don't though do you?" she said ready to leave "I do..I do Charity please adopt Johnny now..today as soon as the paperwork is ready, I want you to be his mum officially". Charity wiped away a lone tear "Really?" she sniffed. "Really Charity, just you please just us, I'll find a way to make it up to you I will, just will you?". Charity smiled "Yeah I will, of course I will" she said Vanessa leant in to kiss her, they simply stared at each other's lips neither moving forward "I love you Charity Dingle" she whispered, " I love you Vanessa Woodfield" Charity whispered back as their lips connected they could feel all the feelings come rushing back like fireworks all around them they could fight this together they could support each other, they could unite and be a family unit once again.


End file.
